Playing? or Fighting?

Playing or fighting?

Snarling faces and gnashing teeth might look like a fight - but in this photo, it's really play-fighting. Both dogs' bodies are relaxed, the dog on top is in a play bow. In a healthy wrestling match, the dogs will take turns being on top or on bottom, being the chaser and the chas-ee.

It is perfectly ok, and advised, to have a set "speed limit" and indoor play rules. Dogs should settle when told or when things get out of hand.

Play hard, sleep well.

The good side of having two dogs is they will provide exercise and entertainment when you can't. But that doesn't mean you don't have a responsibility to be the best thing in your dog's life! Given the choice, your dog should choose you!

Photos courtesy Gayle Kiser

photo courtesy Annie & John Edwards

Friends take turns - but it's not always easy, or prudent, to share.

Keep-away and tag are ways that dogs establish and maintain their pack order in a cooperative and non-violent way:

"I've got it and you can't have it" = I'm top dog.

"I could keep it if I wanted to, but I'm letting you have it this time" = I'm a benevolent leader.

Allow them to establish their relationship, but intervene if one puppy becomes overly domineering or tempers flare. Give each puppy equal time and attention, and do your best to not favor one over the other.

Leaders may choose to share ...

Or not ...

Zulu makes a statement and Tunka yawns in conflict over wanting, but not having, the toy.

Photos courtesy of Lisa Rosier

Do ALL dogs need -or want- dog friends?
Many owners feel a sense of guilt and shame because their dog doesn't enjoy the company of other dogs. People are horrified that their dog isn't pleasant and accepting of the advances of ALL dogs. With the advent of dog parks and dog daycares, many dog owners have unrealistic expectations about their dog's need for playmates. They long for the sight of dogs romping together chasing a ball in the fresh air and sunshine. Dog owners need to understand that not all dogs want or need to wrestle around with every dog at the dog park. This is a romanticized notion of what a "good dog" is. The truth is, dog parks are completely overwhelming for some dogs and not their idea of a good time.

Even those dogs who DO want to wrestle at the dog park don't like every dog they meet. You and I don't get along with all humans 100% of the time. Occasional spats, grumpy days and need for solitude is as normal for dogs as it is for us. Puppies like to play fight and wrestle just like elementary kids on a playground. Adult dogs would more often like to quietly hunt for smells than spend an afternoon knocking each other down for fun. (When you were younger you might have enjoyed a good "mosh pit" but now prefer the comfy seats with a good view of the stage!) It is normal for an adult dog to deck a teenaged dog for playing too roughly.

But we have another dog and he gets along fine with her!

Having a brother or sister doesn't mean a child will automatically be good at getting along with other kids at school or on the playground. Many owners assume that their dog will be good with all dogs because he plays well at home. Not necessarily so. Dogs come in so many sizes and shapes and personality types. The dog who lives with another Golden Retriever may only know how to play with Goldens and have no idea what to do or how to communicate with another breed. Dogs who are bullied by, or allowed to bully their housemate may be worse with other dogs than if they'd had no dog friends at all.

This handout may be reprinted in its entirety for distribution free of charge and with full credit given:
© CAROL A. BYRNES "DIAMONDS IN THE RUFF" Training for Dogs & Their People -
ditr_training @ hotmail.com - http://www.diamondsintheruff.com

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